As triathlete we often bear the brunt of many jokes coming from die-hard road cyclists – AKA: Roadies. Quite honestly, many of these jokes are well deserved! Here’s a collection of rules put together by the Velominati, we suggest you read them and learn. As comical as they are, there is an element of seriousness to all of them.
Here’s a quick sample before going over to read the list in it’s entirety, which by having read this far you are required to do.
Socks can be any damn colour you like. White is old school cool. Black is good, but once again were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long. DeFeet Wool-E-Ators rule.
Spare tubes, multi-tools and repair kits should be stored in jersey pockets, or in a converted bidon in a cage on bike.
Hydration packs are never to be seen on a road rider’s body. No argument will be entered into on this.
The bike is the tool a Velominatus uses to convey their art. It must be cherished, and when leaning it against a wall, must be leaned carefully such that only the bars, saddle, or tires come in contact with the wall or post. This is true even when dismounting prior to collapsing after the World Championship Time Trial.
Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp. Under no circumstances should one be rolling up their sleeves or shorts in an effort to somehow diminish one’s tan lines. Sleeveless jerseys are under no circumstances to be employed (See below if you are a triathlete).
As a triathlete we would be willing to offer a slight bending of rule number 7 (above). You may wear a cut off jersey so long as it is not your race singlet, or skin tight. It must also have 3 pockets in the back mimicking a conventional riding jersey.
As mentioned, we require that you read the remainder of the rules on the Velominati website.